An Evolving Faith Includes Doubt — Center for Action and Contemplation — Read on cac.org/an-evolving-faith-includes-doubt-2021-06-02/
Am I exposing to many truths, like ego self abuse? Or is this what really is 100 proof? I’ve found there is release in mentioning all my many many tragedies..even if many are actually quite stigmatizing and possibly embarrassing 💁🏻🙈 But shit, it is what is, and this is my fucking reality. At times it’s … Continue reading Tonight
God, I find it hard to believe you love me yet still...still through all my inconsistencies.... Not too many men, will love a man, through all of their inconsistencies...their many, many inconsistencies...................
That's where I want you to be; unsure-yet still trusting me. Having tasted enough, to know... Yet not needing to know... Just knowing, that I Am. And, you are. Knowing, I am More than you need, and always enough.. Not needing certainty of mind...but honesty of heart.. I Am here and there, always. Let your … Continue reading Jesus
I love Ask NT Wright Anything | #36 Has the resurrection been debunked?, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/pb-xdw75-daede5
All that we need to do, is the RIGHT thing. Not fight to avoid the sinful things, and adhere to all the religious ones. But, quite oneself and be willing to ask what the right thing is, in any given circumstance, situation, or season. All have been given an answer. Our inner voice/soul/connection to God. … Continue reading The Right Thing is….
Wisdom is being able to separate the essentials from the non-essentials~Richard Rohr
I am having images of me and Jesus at His table again. In the home. (See previous posts about Jesus and I at His table). We are in our typical seats. I have myself pulled up to the table and my left ear pressed against it. My arms are down in my lap. And I … Continue reading Weeping at Jesus’s Table
I've come along way from where I was, and I'm still very much undone. One of the many lessons I've been experiencing over the last few years, is the principle of sowing and reaping, or what some call karma. And I have found it very much alive and well! The unexpected thing I've found though, … Continue reading Karma Sowing Seed
God give me a kind heart, cuz this world has gave me a hard heart. Make me what Thou art, cuz I've created a monster..trying to do my part. I thought I was able..qualified and faithful.. Wanted to prove to You and the people..I was solid...no problems.. But life tends to, knock knock knock you … Continue reading High Tides…Thinking in Writing
One thing I've learned about the establishment of organised religion: they give up on you, way before you give up on them. You can reach out to them in various forms. But they give up on you, before you do them. You keep writing..they stop responding. You have made it known that you are in … Continue reading ….Awake
I catch my spiritual life being a lot more simpler lately. I have always tried to complicate it. Make it managed, controlled, systematic. But lately I find God telling me to , "just BE" anytime my mind gets to racing and I want to make Him and life more technical and doctrinal than He prob … Continue reading The Right Thing To Do?
Where have we sent people? After getting pregnant, I remember running into someone I had known from the church system I had originally came to Christ in. This system is very legalistic. You do. Or you don't. I remember she asked me, was I going back to church? Was I attending somewhere? She was not … Continue reading Oh Faithful Church Folk.
Life has been crazy for me lately. Possibly more on the inside of me than anything; the outside chaos is just the product. Really though, I've been in self-pity mode. Crying "mercy", as if life has me pinned to the ground, arm contorted behind my back. I am in that run mode. Flight..screw the fight..it's … Continue reading Who do you say that I am?
I sit back praying and asking Jesus about this map that I seen while in prayer a while back(see previous post); and this is the insight I've gained: The map in a sense, represents the world. Or one's quest to understand the world. And the things on the map represent life: the "stops" along the … Continue reading Jesus and The Map
Had another visit with Jesus in the house(see an earlier post with same title). This time it was a lot briefer. He was in His usual chair and I in mine, at the large table. Spread across the length of the table was a map. I was busy focused on this map; and all I … Continue reading At Home With Jesus Again
I love Awaken2Now | Complicating Belief Rejects the Truth - Richard Rohr, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hkerp-a1fdd6
As I sit here and ask God, "what does abiding in You look like?" "What does not being conformed to this world look like?" It amazes me, how different His answers seem to be, compared to what I've been taught and told. From what I thought and expected. From how I've been. Almost everything has … Continue reading Christians?
We can only hide for so long. We can only cover up..mask it..for a moment. We can only practice behavior modification for a time..but before we know it..all comes to the light. It can be so deceitful..even to our very selves. We can make others believe..we can make-believe..we can pretend..for so long..that even we believe. … Continue reading Change
So last year sometime, I began practicing contemplative prayer and allowing Jesus to speak to me. Primarily through pictures and images. And ever since then, most of the time, these "scenes" center around a home. A home where Jesus and I live. And this home is what my idea of a safe, cozy place would … Continue reading At Home With Jesus: Visions and Scenes.
I was reading a morning devotional and it was about believing God's love for us. Trusting it. Receiving it. How our personal ideas and views of God are central to our lives...how we live and feel about ourselves and the world around us. The devotional instructed me to ask God to give me a song … Continue reading Visions of Jesus ❤ He speaks.
We are called to follow Christ. To be His hands and feet..His body. But, how often do we represent the Law? What is Old? What was passing...? Why do we resurrect it? I look and listen to the message that the "Body of Christ" is proclaiming, and it doesn't look much like Jesus many times: … Continue reading We are Called
Sometimes I sit and fret over the "what-if's?" Like now for instance; I'm pondering my mistakes and their consequences...wondering if I've messed up to the point of no return? That my propose has been thwarted..my future self- sabattoged. The things God was going to use me for, now too far out of reach. I have … Continue reading Derailed?
There is nothing wrong with this season you are in. Though it feel like prison. Though you seem stuck and trapped. Though it feels like a wilderness; dry and fruitless. Though you believe there is no success, no movement...no gain..no covered ground..Oh..if you only knew!The upside down Kingdom! The subversive way! The... so unlike the … Continue reading Right Where You Should Be.
In shaping us to be more like Him, God exposes a lot of ugly. He shines the light on a lot of things. It is not a pretty sight...nor does it feel good. But, it serves it's purpose; and it's worth it..if we submit to the process. That refining process: bringing the dross, the impurities, … Continue reading Christ Like
Recently I had been pondering and praying about some behavior and attitude problems I have been struggling with. Specifically, ones that can express themselves in unhealthy ways, causing hurt to others. As I was considering these things I felt The Holy Spirit remind me of Peter's betrayal/denial of Christ; and how Jesus responded to it. … Continue reading It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!
Lord does it bother You? Does it bother You, that my Good Samaritans don't always walk like You? Talk like You? Look like You? Does it bother You, that the ones I run to aren't as holy as You? They don't frequent church and read Your Word..as much as others do? They can cuss a … Continue reading Like You Jesus
I love Son of a Preacher Man | Shame, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-fh92v-5390a60
I remember my last stent of darkness. Sadly is has been a familiar friend most of my life. But, it don't stick around like it use to..when The Light is here. When Jesus is welcomed. But there are times, when day becomes night again. Joy appears to be swallowed in fear...shame...insecurity..sin...giving up..and giving in. Hello..I'm … Continue reading He Loves Your Ugly
For the past half-decade and some, I've been trying to be it all. The very best I can. The example for Christ, the mother who understands, the friend who only sees the best in others, despite my thoughts telling me otherwise. The good sister, daughter, employee, citizen..you name it. I've been policing my every thought, … Continue reading F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.