The Western Church is so stuck in head knowledge. We fear the "heart" and yet use only a few verses to back up our reasons. Maybe not knowing in Jewish thought, the heart had a lot more to do with our mind and thinking; than our intuition, the center where we at times feel something … Continue reading Pondering
Am I exposing to many truths, like ego self abuse? Or is this what really is 100 proof? I’ve found there is release in mentioning all my many many tragedies..even if many are actually quite stigmatizing and possibly embarrassing 💁🏻🙈 But shit, it is what is, and this is my fucking reality. At times it’s … Continue reading Tonight
How do I find help, Without time for myself? People are under vast amounts of stress, in who knows what particular areas... it’s all personal, contingent upon so much. Those that need help, have to find methods that work well for them, and then be consistent and also make time for it. Who has time … Continue reading Today
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whome this "emotion" is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder, or stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. His eyes are closed. ~Albert Einstein
The Kingdom of Heaven, starts with YOU. You see, that mustard seed, that grain of wheat..is YOU. We want to see the harvest. We want to see the progress. We want to reach the masses, not realizing..death is in letting go..of all those expectations and ego boosters. That seed(beginning/new way/new life) is first buried. Unseen. … Continue reading Today: Heaven is…(need to edit still)
You say, "make a change"; but where are you participating? With more than a voice? ............... I can tell you now, that the majority of violent crimes are committed by overwhelmed, misunderstood, lost and hopeless, misguided individuals. And I can tell you with confidence, that most every single one of those above said individuals, at … Continue reading You Cry, “Stop the Violence!” Yet What are YOU Gonna do About it?
Learning, that you have to hear first; in order to speak your turn. (Let that speak to you how you want. 🤔)~Sam
One may be quite surprised at how clearly and often He speaks, when man made interferences, distractions, and clutter are eliminated from daily life. We make it mundane.
One good reason death to self, being last, self-sacrifice, and carrying ones cross; can all be symbolized by crucifixion..is because crucifixion is to the body, what self denial is to the ego. We will do anything before choosing to crush/insult ego. It is the most "excruciating" thing. We will even firmly believe our own reasonings … Continue reading The First Will Be Last 🤔
We've been conditioned into subconsciously always asking ourselves, "how can I be first?", in any given situation. It comes natural. We aren't even aware of it typically. Begin to practice asking yourself, "how can I be last?"; and you'll soon realize how self interested, you really are.
All that we need to do, is the RIGHT thing. Not fight to avoid the sinful things, and adhere to all the religious ones. But, quite oneself and be willing to ask what the right thing is, in any given circumstance, situation, or season. All have been given an answer. Our inner voice/soul/connection to God. … Continue reading The Right Thing is….
Wisdom is being able to separate the essentials from the non-essentials~Richard Rohr
You are what you eat , fuel and feed. Watch what you speak and consider how you see. Tis true, mind what you sow; every tiny, little seed. It all reproduces..be it green trees or tangled weeds Flowing rivers or dried up streams. Some give life, some cause death. It takes residence in your heart, … Continue reading BE ? Who are You and How?
Mama said it took the edge off So I went and got a bottle, poured a glass and partook until the pain within my head was quieted, and the days looked brighter up ahead. Mama was right..as she had said.
Does it give life? Restore? Heal? Protect? Shed warm, revealing, gentle light? Are the followers of any particular path fostering life, light, and love? Are they moving more and more towards it? Are they at peace, is it easy to be in their presence? What do their words and lifestyles speak of? Are they moving … Continue reading Life, Light and Love.
I'm learning to not mind being as authentic as possible. As a gift to myself if anything. Being true to myself, my reality. Why lie to the crowd? Why be someone else or pretend I am keeping up with the Jane's and Jones's, when I'm really a hot mess? Why does wearing a painted mask … Continue reading Embrace You. The REAL You. And Love it Enough to Let Others, Even Haters Know it too. 😜🤔🤓🤐🤡😈😇🤣😬😬😬😬💁
I see in myself this same pattern one finds when teens choose gangs. That longing for belonging, leadership, purpose. When the family unit does not seem to give what is needed or presumed needed, one ventures off to find it elsewhere. And though that elsewhere may not be healthy, the feeling of belonging and significance … Continue reading Gang Banging in the Pews.
God, often I wonder what you think of me, Cuz I know what I think of me. And lately I've been fighting, some demons and it's frightening. Too much thinking in the night time, in the morning nothing looks right. Legendary Abstract Who's to say? She's all that! Broken homes, too many fights Booze and … Continue reading I don’t Know What This Is
As I sat here praying, I asked God what He felt about my interest in other spiritual leaders. Some of whom my old self would have considered heretical or wolves in sheep's clothing. Was it dangerous to my soul? Am I being led astray, along a winding path toward hell? Or is there also truth, … Continue reading Does God Want us Whole or Adherents?
Oh shit, I'm here again. Where I wait all day for sleep to begin, because that's the only time the misery ends.
I love Awaken2Now (See Thru Oppositional 2’s) | Aw Shit! Ya mean I can't be a hero? -Richard Rohr, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/pb-zvdfv-c4c9fc
I love Homilies | Money, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-dznzz-6d93315
I will say this, all the wrong attidudes and things I've condemned in others: greed, self-centeredness, gossip, accusations, pride, hypocrisy, lusts, materialism, comparison..you name it; I've likewise found in me. They may not manifest in the same ways or they might vary in degrees..but at their core, they are of the SAME spirit.
To me, social media means neglecting and missing out on all things meaningful and valuable, In exchange for all things superficial and empty. Those people and moments I neglect, For strangers and white washed tall tales of happiness. My children looking to me for acceptance and approval, While I scroll for the world's...👍
I have grown and learned more from struggle, than anything else in life. This is the paradox of suffering and want. It has made me more humane. It has forged within me more compassion and gratefulness, than any fine thing. It has opened my eyes to what really matters, and what things are just not … Continue reading Me on a Thinking Tangent: Nothing New.
I've come along way from where I was, and I'm still very much undone. One of the many lessons I've been experiencing over the last few years, is the principle of sowing and reaping, or what some call karma. And I have found it very much alive and well! The unexpected thing I've found though, … Continue reading Karma Sowing Seed
If I wanted all of that..best believe I'd make it happen If I needed that ...cash is what I'd be after You see it's not poverty or depravity that has a hold on me But I'm after something that transcends all that's relevant to these earthly chics I need a little more depth to my … Continue reading Just a Little Late Night Rhyming ( My feelings on keeping up with the Janes and Jones)
Will you love me in my brokenness When I have nothing else to give but these moments in... Conversations and contemplation...about what life is.. All I have is.... Me Be-ing That's all I can give Here I am One in a million.. Not like them... Very different Up up away....earth bound...hell no No limits All … Continue reading 9-20-2019
I can't really put into words what anxiety and depression(whatever really inflicts me) are like. Torment is close. An agitation deep within..like being poked with a pointy finger over and over again...but beneath your chest..where ones emotions rest... Or a pingpong ball pinging rapidly throughout me. Bouncing off one side, to the next..this way and … Continue reading Considering My Ailments lol
God give me a kind heart, cuz this world has gave me a hard heart. Make me what Thou art, cuz I've created a monster..trying to do my part. I thought I was able..qualified and faithful.. Wanted to prove to You and the people..I was solid...no problems.. But life tends to, knock knock knock you … Continue reading High Tides…Thinking in Writing
Sometimes one must be wise enough to force upon themselves heartache ; when well aware of circumstances and situations..that if persisted in..would later cause heartbreak. Of course, any ache is painful. But in reality, these bruises feel better much quicker; than the more intense, reluctant pain a break produces. Not to exclude, the more extensive … Continue reading My Time Capsule: 12-30-2013
If there is one thing I can say with full conscience confidence.. Is that I have saught You diligently. Like the Hound Of Heaven in my own sense..I've been in pursuit of You.. I have been discouraged, but never forsaken. I've been mistaken, but You never have left me. I may have been blinded, but … Continue reading My God
Can I lose my mind for some time? What if I lost all self-control for a bit? What would you think of ya chic? If I decided to get real legit..100..per cent..I don't think they ready for this See they ain't neva considered this kind of sublime...it's so unlike...all they've ever witnessed.. Lost minds.. They … Continue reading High Times. Unconscious Rhyming
I want to measure your stature, from within...what things are in your heart? What do you see within others, when you look deep enough to even try to perceive what lays beneath? I no longer want to stay focused on what only my eyes can see...I want to adjust my vision so that it can … Continue reading My Time Capsule: 9-19-2013
Am I wrong for being pissed off and resentful for the news covering anything but real life most the time? Like for months I've heard stories of people ate by sharks and those who've died ontop mountains...attacked by wild animals.. And this is sad. These are peoples lives...people matter..all people. But these are people that … Continue reading Shark Attacks and Poverty
I'm so tired, I have no energy. I'm so drained from lack of good sleep, yet my running mind won't allow it..sleep. Even the prescribed meds fail me. For the most part. They have offered some help..better than I was. My thyroid is all out of whack again. This makes me feel constantly sickly. So … Continue reading Just My Thoughts
I don't understand how people think that those with depression are suppose to just be OK? Just pull themselves up and out of it, as if it's simple. As if it's brought on by self. I wish I could pop a magic pill, say a certain prayer and I would be your kind of "normal." … Continue reading ……
One thing I've learned about the establishment of organised religion: they give up on you, way before you give up on them. You can reach out to them in various forms. But they give up on you, before you do them. You keep writing..they stop responding. You have made it known that you are in … Continue reading ….Awake
This is the kind of tired that lays down in a ball and can't get up.. That has no more energy to think...to function...to keep up with it all.. This is a kind of tired that gives up caring...that gives up This is the kind of tired that have sent many to end their own … Continue reading This Kind of Tired.
I love Homilies | Evil is socially legitimated before the individual dares, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-56ist-674c815
Over the course of my life, mostly as an adolescent but also a few times as an adult; I've had others think I was seeking attention. Whether it be from my loudness, hyperactiveness, complaining, sobbing at church..whatever And though some of those behaviors may stem from some subconscious need to be heard and seen; they … Continue reading Call it What You Must
We are all just a bunch of broken, f-d up people unwilling to change. So full of ourselves that we can't see the shit in us that needs weeded out..because we are too sure that our "enemy": republicans, democrats, men, women, gay, straight, Muslim, Hindu, Christian, that domination, his addiction, her greed, their lust, those … Continue reading My F-d up Mind. I’m the one that has blinded eyes!!!! It is I!!!!!
So sometimes I have these scenes I go through with me and Jesus. And today(read previous post) is one of those days. In these scenes I am with Him and usually talking or resting in this house (see other posts on this of mine). Today though we are in my house and also another room. … Continue reading Jesus and My Tantrum
I hate myself today..and other days. I feel like a contradiction. The person I want to be, the mask I want others to see...then in private I can be..this person I despise. I am a complaining mess. Raging. Tired..sleep deprived wreck. Can't keep up. Not with the Jones's..I have no desire to fulfill my life … Continue reading Life Today.
I would say my biggest discouragement/hurt when it comes to battling mental illness(depression, anxiety, presumed BPD); has been getting others to understand or even believe me. Unlike physical ailments that can be more readily diagnosed and recognized by the layman; this stuff is not so. It cannot be X-rayed, tested, put in a petri dish, … Continue reading My Struggle with Mental Illness.
Life has been crazy for me lately. Possibly more on the inside of me than anything; the outside chaos is just the product. Really though, I've been in self-pity mode. Crying "mercy", as if life has me pinned to the ground, arm contorted behind my back. I am in that run mode. Flight..screw the fight..it's … Continue reading Who do you say that I am?
I sit back praying and asking Jesus about this map that I seen while in prayer a while back(see previous post); and this is the insight I've gained: The map in a sense, represents the world. Or one's quest to understand the world. And the things on the map represent life: the "stops" along the … Continue reading Jesus and The Map
Closed eyes can't see the white roses, Cold hands can't hold them, you know Breath that is stilled can not gather, The odors that sweet from them blow Death with a peace beyond dreaming, It's children of earth doth endow Life is the time we can help them, So give them the flowers now! Here … Continue reading Give Them the Flowers Now: by Leigh M Hodges