The Pain..the Ache…The Mercy…The Grace..The Hope..The Race…The Love..The Hate..The Journeying…The Making of me(Or better yet, The Undoing of me 😌😉)
Lately, as I try to re-enter my life back on Jesus and God; I find myself reaching out for the same "resources"; rather than the Source. Resources, have been my primary means to God, if they be a means..maybe a help..a tool..but I perhaps made them my gods..my idols. For it was what I sought … Continue reading In His Presence
In my frustrations, hurts, and what some may rightly call resentments towards the professing church of God; I almost lost sight of who my redeemer is. The God of my Youth. The One who met me, came right beside me; in my most destitute moments. Jesus. Though I no longer have the same hard core … Continue reading I almost Forgot
When we finally believe something. As true. We will no longer need to defend it. Defense, like a self preservation agent, is primal. Fear based. Defending is like implying we must protect it. But what is known to be true; need not be lost. Defended. Or protected. It sits still. It needs not object. It … Continue reading This Thought
youtube.com/watch
Stop making vacations out of missions trips. Make interpersonal relationships, with those not like you, or those in need of other people...your mission. Just a thought.
An Evolving Faith Includes Doubt — Center for Action and Contemplation — Read on cac.org/an-evolving-faith-includes-doubt-2021-06-02/
The Western Church is so stuck in head knowledge. We fear the "heart" and yet use only a few verses to back up our reasons. Maybe not knowing in Jewish thought, the heart had a lot more to do with our mind and thinking; than our intuition, the center where we at times feel something … Continue reading Pondering
God, I find it hard to believe you love me yet still...still through all my inconsistencies.... Not too many men, will love a man, through all of their inconsistencies...their many, many inconsistencies...................
I love Ask NT Wright Anything | #34 An Evening With NT Wright live in London, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/pb-9vf8u-d7de03
One may be quite surprised at how clearly and often He speaks, when man made interferences, distractions, and clutter are eliminated from daily life. We make it mundane.
youtu.be/vEZ14Oiz3RE
Lord I say I want to know you, but I refuse to let you speak. I don’t silence the voices of the world as often as I feel are necessary to hear your voice. I run to this and to that. Many things done in your name. I turn to. Many voices that say they … Continue reading Listening?
When we look at the crux of the Gospel and what Jesus taught we can see how it is profoundly simple, yet challenging. To just love. Have we taught that? Learned that? If it’s not all about the “law”, but love, what does that look and sound like? And how are we acting on law, … Continue reading What is Your Cross?
You can't help a lost world, through worldy meassures. The system is not meant to be replicated, but rather torn down and rebuilt. New birth. Follower's of Christ, are called to replicate Christ, just as He replicates the Father. Lost souls do not need another worldly system, they need revolution and re-birth. Christ un-apologeticly entered … Continue reading Show Me the Father.
I've come along way from where I was, and I'm still very much undone. One of the many lessons I've been experiencing over the last few years, is the principle of sowing and reaping, or what some call karma. And I have found it very much alive and well! The unexpected thing I've found though, … Continue reading Karma Sowing Seed
God give me a kind heart, cuz this world has gave me a hard heart. Make me what Thou art, cuz I've created a monster..trying to do my part. I thought I was able..qualified and faithful.. Wanted to prove to You and the people..I was solid...no problems.. But life tends to, knock knock knock you … Continue reading High Tides…Thinking in Writing
Lord, I am tired of all the voices. All the he said she said. All the "opinions" and "facts". I still haven't a clue because the voices are so different. They cannot agree. They speak of only their differences from the other..why they are right..and they are wrong. There is no soundness..they all are confused. … Continue reading Within
So sometimes I have these scenes I go through with me and Jesus. And today(read previous post) is one of those days. In these scenes I am with Him and usually talking or resting in this house (see other posts on this of mine). Today though we are in my house and also another room. … Continue reading Jesus and My Tantrum
It comes quite natural for me to let my negative feelings be known. Bitching, complaining, moaning. Airing out why life's unfair to me. Placing dishes in the sink a little louder than normal to express my frustrations. You get what I mean. Expressing myselt so others are aware. I've been trying to get better. As … Continue reading Cause No Death(Sin)
I catch my spiritual life being a lot more simpler lately. I have always tried to complicate it. Make it managed, controlled, systematic. But lately I find God telling me to , "just BE" anytime my mind gets to racing and I want to make Him and life more technical and doctrinal than He prob … Continue reading The Right Thing To Do?
I made a rotel dip. Today I was left with the remnants: rock solid, dried up, caked on cheese dip on several dishes. Me being me, "why not just discard it"? Throw the hole dang thing away, bowl and all! Wouldn't be the first time. But, I decided to be more resourceful and put them … Continue reading Jesus and Velveeta
Where have we sent people? After getting pregnant, I remember running into someone I had known from the church system I had originally came to Christ in. This system is very legalistic. You do. Or you don't. I remember she asked me, was I going back to church? Was I attending somewhere? She was not … Continue reading Oh Faithful Church Folk.
I sit back praying and asking Jesus about this map that I seen while in prayer a while back(see previous post); and this is the insight I've gained: The map in a sense, represents the world. Or one's quest to understand the world. And the things on the map represent life: the "stops" along the … Continue reading Jesus and The Map
I love Awaken2Now | Complicating Belief Rejects the Truth - Richard Rohr, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hkerp-a1fdd6
As I sit here and ask God, "what does abiding in You look like?" "What does not being conformed to this world look like?" It amazes me, how different His answers seem to be, compared to what I've been taught and told. From what I thought and expected. From how I've been. Almost everything has … Continue reading Christians?
We can only hide for so long. We can only cover up..mask it..for a moment. We can only practice behavior modification for a time..but before we know it..all comes to the light. It can be so deceitful..even to our very selves. We can make others believe..we can make-believe..we can pretend..for so long..that even we believe. … Continue reading Change
For a while now, longer than I'd like to admit(because I have not listened); I've felt Jesus reminding me..to "come to Him.", to "come and drink", "lay my burdens down", "come boldy before the thrown of grace"...abide..eat....dine. He's been reminding me that it is IN HIM I find my strength, my answers, my spiritual cravings … Continue reading Empty Calories (Spiritual).
I never open this devotional..it's been a long time. Crazy because my 9 month old drug some books of my shelf..and while picking them up I decided to read this. If you see my last post you will see the significance. 1. Of my baby being the one pulling out the books..yet providing the answer(My … Continue reading When God speaks directly to your circumstance.
We are called to follow Christ. To be His hands and feet..His body. But, how often do we represent the Law? What is Old? What was passing...? Why do we resurrect it? I look and listen to the message that the "Body of Christ" is proclaiming, and it doesn't look much like Jesus many times: … Continue reading We are Called
Sometimes I sit and fret over the "what-if's?" Like now for instance; I'm pondering my mistakes and their consequences...wondering if I've messed up to the point of no return? That my propose has been thwarted..my future self- sabattoged. The things God was going to use me for, now too far out of reach. I have … Continue reading Derailed?
There is nothing wrong with this season you are in. Though it feel like prison. Though you seem stuck and trapped. Though it feels like a wilderness; dry and fruitless. Though you believe there is no success, no movement...no gain..no covered ground..Oh..if you only knew!The upside down Kingdom! The subversive way! The... so unlike the … Continue reading Right Where You Should Be.
In shaping us to be more like Him, God exposes a lot of ugly. He shines the light on a lot of things. It is not a pretty sight...nor does it feel good. But, it serves it's purpose; and it's worth it..if we submit to the process. That refining process: bringing the dross, the impurities, … Continue reading Christ Like
Recently I had been pondering and praying about some behavior and attitude problems I have been struggling with. Specifically, ones that can express themselves in unhealthy ways, causing hurt to others. As I was considering these things I felt The Holy Spirit remind me of Peter's betrayal/denial of Christ; and how Jesus responded to it. … Continue reading It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!
Lord does it bother You? Does it bother You, that my Good Samaritans don't always walk like You? Talk like You? Look like You? Does it bother You, that the ones I run to aren't as holy as You? They don't frequent church and read Your Word..as much as others do? They can cuss a … Continue reading Like You Jesus
I love Son of a Preacher Man | Shame, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-fh92v-5390a60
I remember my last stent of darkness. Sadly is has been a familiar friend most of my life. But, it don't stick around like it use to..when The Light is here. When Jesus is welcomed. But there are times, when day becomes night again. Joy appears to be swallowed in fear...shame...insecurity..sin...giving up..and giving in. Hello..I'm … Continue reading He Loves Your Ugly
For the past half-decade and some, I've been trying to be it all. The very best I can. The example for Christ, the mother who understands, the friend who only sees the best in others, despite my thoughts telling me otherwise. The good sister, daughter, employee, citizen..you name it. I've been policing my every thought, … Continue reading F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.
I can be so quick to want to teach the other a lesson. To be the instructor. I'm seeing that most the time lately, the lessons are meant for me...I am the one needing instruction. I can not expect to lead, until I can learn to follow. I can not speak..until I can first hear. … Continue reading Lessons and Instructors
The Undoing of Me 