When we finally believe something. As true. We will no longer need to defend it. Defense, like a self preservation agent, is primal. Fear based. Defending is like implying we must protect it. But what is known to be true; need not be lost. Defended. Or protected. It sits still. It needs not object. It … Continue reading This Thought
What people don’t seem to understand about suicide, is that it’s not that people want to die. They just don’t want to live.... “ like this.” And I guarantee, most if not all who do, fought a very , very, very good fight before becoming tired of that fight. Just as much as some people … Continue reading Understand
I have to accept the fact, that like many poets and extreme men; most their words are taken for granted and dismissed until they lay… a dead man. Words of wisdom are never comprehended by their family and friends. Until they posthumously are finally given some interest. I’m fine with this.
Looking back, my life has been nothing but chaos and conflict; and I’m looking forward to going.
It’s not that I want my world to change(the things around me). Even though I complain and it may seem that way. But in reality, I just want this pain inside to subside. It’s not a subtle thing, it’s intense. Like an itch... That you can’t quite scratch, yet it doesn’t itch.... It pan-ics It … Continue reading Anxiety
God here I am again, I'm tired and I'm over it I am ill equipped to handle this I don't get it, I'm a deficit There is no joy, I can't find it I feel lost....inside this I am not human.this can't be it You made them stronger, I'm something less than Cuz as much … Continue reading Today
The best way I can express these things today, is in these unspoken words I say I am fucking a nut case and I know it, got a few screws loose I might show it Don't worry I ain't too sturdy, a lot of bark a little bite..just ...quirky..just hurting I have had a rage … Continue reading By Best Attempts at Describing It.