What consciousness (conscious awareness) is not: Not being in the present moment, but lost in thoughts of the past or worries of the future. Pondering and analyzing any and everything, that is not needed in that exact moment. Reacting, rather than responding. Being possessed by your emotional triggers; they being what drives you rather than … Continue reading Consciousness: Notes To Self.
Tag: Deconstruction
Changing my mind about the Bible, God, and faith.
Hindz ~On Energy and Self-Love ❤️ 🧘♀️
youtube.com/watch
Soul and Mind
How often I’ve mistaken my mind for my heart(soul), and vice-versa. How often they’ve told me my mind was the way; but my heart could not be trusted. How often I’ve listened to the deliberations and patterns of my conditioned mined; While silencing my soul when it spoke of love, While tying down my heart … Continue reading Soul and Mind
Todays and Years Longings
More than anything, I just long for time alone. Stillness, silence, solitude. And for several years now, this is the very thing that constantly eludes me. I cry for her. I rage for her. I thirst, I starve, malnourished. Needed to be fed, by nothing. Empty bliss. No distractions or disruptions. No voices, nor noises. … Continue reading Todays and Years Longings
What He Said: Thich Nhat Hanh (Noticing The Synchronicities in Everyday Life 😊).
I find it exciting, hopeful, and as the following excerpts say, like rebirth and renewal, when I come across the same themes very close together within a short amount of time. This has been happening to me for years now, and it can be very encouraging and confirming. Particularly when you are on your own … Continue reading What He Said: Thich Nhat Hanh (Noticing The Synchronicities in Everyday Life 😊).
Instinct and Intellect
Excerpt taken from, The Tao of Pooh; by Benjamin Hoff. Reflecting on a riddle called Cottleston Pie; Pooh and the narrator dig deeper into the riddle: “Why does a chicken do what it does? You don’t know? Neither do we. Neither does anyone else. Science likes to strut around and Act Smart by putting labels … Continue reading Instinct and Intellect
Maybe?
There is a time and a place for judgement, is this so? To be reprimanded, corrected? The Church, the professing body of Christ..we can be the first to judge, reprimand and correct. Yet, we can likewise be the last to accept it. And from what I find; we, the people of God, are to be … Continue reading Maybe?
A Relavent Thought
"The disciplines of prayer and Bible study need to be rooted again and again in Jesus himself if they are not to become idolatrous or self serving. We have often muted Jesus' stark challenge, remaking him in our own image and then wondering why our personal spiritualities have become less than exciting and life-changing....... ....I … Continue reading A Relavent Thought
I almost Forgot
In my frustrations, hurts, and what some may rightly call resentments towards the professing church of God; I almost lost sight of who my redeemer is. The God of my Youth. The One who met me, came right beside me; in my most destitute moments. Jesus. Though I no longer have the same hard core … Continue reading I almost Forgot
The Unchanged/ Non-rebirthed Church
This Thought
When we finally believe something. As true. We will no longer need to defend it. Defense, like a self preservation agent, is primal. Fear based. Defending is like implying we must protect it. But what is known to be true; need not be lost. Defended. Or protected. It sits still. It needs not object. It … Continue reading This Thought
Mark of the Beast? :Speculating with Self
The mark of the beast maybe, is not to be seen as some physical thing to come into the horizon. It is not some big trick you have to fear stumbling upon. It’s nothing to be figured out. It’s symbolism. It’s going to be(IS) something, every man can/could choose. Not just one particular generation. Look … Continue reading Mark of the Beast? :Speculating with Self
Stop the Mission Trips
Stop making vacations out of missions trips. Make interpersonal relationships, with those not like you, or those in need of other people...your mission. Just a thought.
An Evolving Faith Includes Doubt — Center for Action and Contemplation
An Evolving Faith Includes Doubt — Center for Action and Contemplation — Read on cac.org/an-evolving-faith-includes-doubt-2021-06-02/
Watch “Psychosis or Spiritual Awakening: Phil Borges at TEDxUMKC” on YouTube
What Really Is …
mywonderingsoul.com/2019/08/19/within/
Jesus
That's where I want you to be; unsure-yet still trusting me. Having tasted enough, to know... Yet not needing to know... Just knowing, that I Am. And, you are. Knowing, I am More than you need, and always enough.. Not needing certainty of mind...but honesty of heart.. I Am here and there, always. Let your … Continue reading Jesus
Watch “TAOISM | The Philosophy Of Flow” on YouTube
Jesus and Trump
I love Nomad Podcast | Brian Zahnd - Christians in the Age of Trump (N188), let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-7iep9-55ab234
Today..
Learning, that you have to hear first; in order to speak your turn. (Let that speak to you how you want. 🤔)~Sam
The First Will Be Last 🤔
One good reason death to self, being last, self-sacrifice, and carrying ones cross; can all be symbolized by crucifixion..is because crucifixion is to the body, what self denial is to the ego. We will do anything before choosing to crush/insult ego. It is the most "excruciating" thing. We will even firmly believe our own reasonings … Continue reading The First Will Be Last 🤔
The Stages of Spiritual Growth: Falling Upward with Richard Rohr
The Bible and it’s Mishaps and Discrepancies
Wisdom and Reformation
Wisdom is being able to separate the essentials from the non-essentials~Richard Rohr
Consider Who… Yeah You. 🙋🏻♀️
The only time we should consider others, is to ask ourselves, “will it help them or hurt them?” This is the one single time we should allow others into our headspace. Other than that, I do not see any purpose or justification. For what is all other consideration and contemplating of another’s life, if it’s … Continue reading Consider Who… Yeah You. 🙋🏻♀️
Embrace You. The REAL You. And Love it Enough to Let Others, Even Haters Know it too. 😜🤔🤓🤐🤡😈😇🤣😬😬😬😬💁
I'm learning to not mind being as authentic as possible. As a gift to myself if anything. Being true to myself, my reality. Why lie to the crowd? Why be someone else or pretend I am keeping up with the Jane's and Jones's, when I'm really a hot mess? Why does wearing a painted mask … Continue reading Embrace You. The REAL You. And Love it Enough to Let Others, Even Haters Know it too. 😜🤔🤓🤐🤡😈😇🤣😬😬😬😬💁
This is Good! “It is Finished – The Jesus Trip” on YouTube
Does God Want us Whole or Adherents?
As I sat here praying, I asked God what He felt about my interest in other spiritual leaders. Some of whom my old self would have considered heretical or wolves in sheep's clothing. Was it dangerous to my soul? Am I being led astray, along a winding path toward hell? Or is there also truth, … Continue reading Does God Want us Whole or Adherents?
Watch “Gabor Mate’s short-lecture about ‘being self-disconnect'” on YouTube
Show Me the Father.
You can't help a lost world, through worldy meassures. The system is not meant to be replicated, but rather torn down and rebuilt. New birth. Follower's of Christ, are called to replicate Christ, just as He replicates the Father. Lost souls do not need another worldly system, they need revolution and re-birth. Christ un-apologeticly entered … Continue reading Show Me the Father.
What Does it Mean to be Fully Human? 😭😭❤❤❤
5 Tips for “Translating” N.T. Wright’s Book on the Cross – N.T. Wright Online
I Spy..
If the Church treated those like Mary Magdalene, the tax collector, the leper and the lame, like Jesus did; take note, because it'll be the congregation that complains.
Weeping at Jesus’s Table
I am having images of me and Jesus at His table again. In the home. (See previous posts about Jesus and I at His table). We are in our typical seats. I have myself pulled up to the table and my left ear pressed against it. My arms are down in my lap. And I … Continue reading Weeping at Jesus’s Table
The Goal
" ..the goal is not the perfect avoidance of all sin, which is not possible anyway( 1 John 1:8-9; Romans 5:12), but the struggle itself, and the encounter and wisdom that comes from it. Law and failure create the foil, which creates the conflict, which leads to a very different kind of victory than any … Continue reading The Goal
Money Money Money! Money! 💸
I love Homilies | Money, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-dznzz-6d93315
A Change is Gonna Come?
All the theological answers. The Bible studies. The Sunday mornings All the gathering and smiling All the hungry The homeless The single parents struggling The addict The lonely All the lost still hoping The saints keep singing The sinners keep waiting For a saint to see them And show them a redeemer.
Daily Meditations Archives — Center for Action and Contemplation
Me on a Thinking Tangent: Nothing New.
I have grown and learned more from struggle, than anything else in life. This is the paradox of suffering and want. It has made me more humane. It has forged within me more compassion and gratefulness, than any fine thing. It has opened my eyes to what really matters, and what things are just not … Continue reading Me on a Thinking Tangent: Nothing New.
Karma Sowing Seed
I've come along way from where I was, and I'm still very much undone. One of the many lessons I've been experiencing over the last few years, is the principle of sowing and reaping, or what some call karma. And I have found it very much alive and well! The unexpected thing I've found though, … Continue reading Karma Sowing Seed
High Tides…Thinking in Writing
God give me a kind heart, cuz this world has gave me a hard heart. Make me what Thou art, cuz I've created a monster..trying to do my part. I thought I was able..qualified and faithful.. Wanted to prove to You and the people..I was solid...no problems.. But life tends to, knock knock knock you … Continue reading High Tides…Thinking in Writing
High Times. Unconscious Rhyming
Can I lose my mind for some time? What if I lost all self-control for a bit? What would you think of ya chic? If I decided to get real legit..100..per cent..I don't think they ready for this See they ain't neva considered this kind of sublime...it's so unlike...all they've ever witnessed.. Lost minds.. They … Continue reading High Times. Unconscious Rhyming
My Time Capsule: 9-19-2013
I want to measure your stature, from within...what things are in your heart? What do you see within others, when you look deep enough to even try to perceive what lays beneath? I no longer want to stay focused on what only my eyes can see...I want to adjust my vision so that it can … Continue reading My Time Capsule: 9-19-2013
….Awake
One thing I've learned about the establishment of organised religion: they give up on you, way before you give up on them. You can reach out to them in various forms. But they give up on you, before you do them. You keep writing..they stop responding. You have made it known that you are in … Continue reading ….Awake
Wow
I love Homilies | Evil is socially legitimated before the individual dares, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/ea/dir-56ist-674c815
Within
Lord, I am tired of all the voices. All the he said she said. All the "opinions" and "facts". I still haven't a clue because the voices are so different. They cannot agree. They speak of only their differences from the other..why they are right..and they are wrong. There is no soundness..they all are confused. … Continue reading Within
My F-d up Mind. I’m the one that has blinded eyes!!!! It is I!!!!!
We are all just a bunch of broken, f-d up people unwilling to change. So full of ourselves that we can't see the shit in us that needs weeded out..because we are too sure that our "enemy": republicans, democrats, men, women, gay, straight, Muslim, Hindu, Christian, that domination, his addiction, her greed, their lust, those … Continue reading My F-d up Mind. I’m the one that has blinded eyes!!!! It is I!!!!!
Jesus and Velveeta
I made a rotel dip. Today I was left with the remnants: rock solid, dried up, caked on cheese dip on several dishes. Me being me, "why not just discard it"? Throw the hole dang thing away, bowl and all! Wouldn't be the first time. But, I decided to be more resourceful and put them … Continue reading Jesus and Velveeta
Oh Faithful Church Folk.
Where have we sent people? After getting pregnant, I remember running into someone I had known from the church system I had originally came to Christ in. This system is very legalistic. You do. Or you don't. I remember she asked me, was I going back to church? Was I attending somewhere? She was not … Continue reading Oh Faithful Church Folk.
Who do you say that I am?
Life has been crazy for me lately. Possibly more on the inside of me than anything; the outside chaos is just the product. Really though, I've been in self-pity mode. Crying "mercy", as if life has me pinned to the ground, arm contorted behind my back. I am in that run mode. Flight..screw the fight..it's … Continue reading Who do you say that I am?
The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Oh how we take pride in ourselves! Our understanding, our wisdom, our achievements, our advancements..our own precepts...our own, our own, our very own ways of "knowing." The I am, we are; compared to them, they, he and she. The pride in separation!! The lies of..better than. The arrogance in the blame..the..this is mine..how dare they … Continue reading The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Jesus and The Map
I sit back praying and asking Jesus about this map that I seen while in prayer a while back(see previous post); and this is the insight I've gained: The map in a sense, represents the world. Or one's quest to understand the world. And the things on the map represent life: the "stops" along the … Continue reading Jesus and The Map
At Home With Jesus Again
Had another visit with Jesus in the house(see an earlier post with same title). This time it was a lot briefer. He was in His usual chair and I in mine, at the large table. Spread across the length of the table was a map. I was busy focused on this map; and all I … Continue reading At Home With Jesus Again
Wonderful! Good listen
I love TED Talks Daily | I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here's why I left | Megan Phelps-Roper, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-avy39-562bbbb
Very thought provoking.
I love Awaken2Now | Complicating Belief Rejects the Truth - Richard Rohr, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-hkerp-a1fdd6
Christians?
As I sit here and ask God, "what does abiding in You look like?" "What does not being conformed to this world look like?" It amazes me, how different His answers seem to be, compared to what I've been taught and told. From what I thought and expected. From how I've been. Almost everything has … Continue reading Christians?
Change
We can only hide for so long. We can only cover up..mask it..for a moment. We can only practice behavior modification for a time..but before we know it..all comes to the light. It can be so deceitful..even to our very selves. We can make others believe..we can make-believe..we can pretend..for so long..that even we believe. … Continue reading Change
Hell or Hell No?
Watch “Christianity and Unknowing, Richard Rohr” on YouTube
We are Called
We are called to follow Christ. To be His hands and feet..His body. But, how often do we represent the Law? What is Old? What was passing...? Why do we resurrect it? I look and listen to the message that the "Body of Christ" is proclaiming, and it doesn't look much like Jesus many times: … Continue reading We are Called
Jesus IS What God Has to Say! ❤🙌🎉
Right Where You Should Be.
There is nothing wrong with this season you are in. Though it feel like prison. Though you seem stuck and trapped. Though it feels like a wilderness; dry and fruitless. Though you believe there is no success, no movement...no gain..no covered ground..Oh..if you only knew!The upside down Kingdom! The subversive way! The... so unlike the … Continue reading Right Where You Should Be.
Christ Like
In shaping us to be more like Him, God exposes a lot of ugly. He shines the light on a lot of things. It is not a pretty sight...nor does it feel good. But, it serves it's purpose; and it's worth it..if we submit to the process. That refining process: bringing the dross, the impurities, … Continue reading Christ Like
It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!
Recently I had been pondering and praying about some behavior and attitude problems I have been struggling with. Specifically, ones that can express themselves in unhealthy ways, causing hurt to others. As I was considering these things I felt The Holy Spirit remind me of Peter's betrayal/denial of Christ; and how Jesus responded to it. … Continue reading It’s Me Oh’Lord; Standing in the Need of Prayer!
Like You Jesus
Lord does it bother You? Does it bother You, that my Good Samaritans don't always walk like You? Talk like You? Look like You? Does it bother You, that the ones I run to aren't as holy as You? They don't frequent church and read Your Word..as much as others do? They can cuss a … Continue reading Like You Jesus
Shame VS Acceptance
I love Son of a Preacher Man | Shame, let's play it! https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-fh92v-5390a60
He Loves Your Ugly
I remember my last stent of darkness. Sadly is has been a familiar friend most of my life. But, it don't stick around like it use to..when The Light is here. When Jesus is welcomed. But there are times, when day becomes night again. Joy appears to be swallowed in fear...shame...insecurity..sin...giving up..and giving in. Hello..I'm … Continue reading He Loves Your Ugly
F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.
For the past half-decade and some, I've been trying to be it all. The very best I can. The example for Christ, the mother who understands, the friend who only sees the best in others, despite my thoughts telling me otherwise. The good sister, daughter, employee, citizen..you name it. I've been policing my every thought, … Continue reading F@*# It ALL..that’s how I feel today..and maybe I will tmrw too.
Lessons and Instructors
I can be so quick to want to teach the other a lesson. To be the instructor. I'm seeing that most the time lately, the lessons are meant for me...I am the one needing instruction. I can not expect to lead, until I can learn to follow. I can not speak..until I can first hear. … Continue reading Lessons and Instructors
The Undoing of Me 