Lost Faith

I lost my faith in Christianity, when it became clearer, that the majority of professing followers of Christ(myself included) appeared to chase after becoming “saints”, rather than servants.

And in order to be the saints they so believed they had to be; they had to be all consumed and sold out, by what it took for them to be so.

Self-interested and invested. In their own souls.

Dogma. Striving. Doing. Learning. Teaching.

Head games.

That fruit of the tree: the pursuit of the ability to define what is right and wrong. Pleasing and unsatisfactory. Who’s in and who’s out.

The need for ultimate understanding, of what is good and what is evil.

Study study study.

Head games.

Am I wrong?

I lost faith in modern day Christianity and its followers, when I began to see that most followed doctrine, rather than Jesus.

When I began to see, that most wanted knowledge, certainty and self soothing ideals. That they preferred to chase after the need for self-salvation, self-preservation and a heaven that would take away all their PERSONAL and existential fears….;

rather than the bearing of crosses and self sacrifice on behalf of the other.

Blinded, to the essence of the Gospel.

When almost everything they worshiped, was not anything Jesus proclaimed.

When everything they did, was nothing like Jesus had in mind.

When “pure and undefiled religion”, in their eyes, became more about a service and a song. A Sunday and a meeting…rather than people in need.

Rather than the freedom, healing, restoration, and reconciliation of humanity.

All in their heads, and far from their hearts.

Self-centered, mumbo-jumbo head knowledge.