More than anything, I just long for time alone. Stillness, silence, solitude.
And for several years now, this is the very thing that constantly eludes me.
I cry for her.
I rage for her.
I thirst, I starve, malnourished.
Needed to be fed, by nothing. Empty bliss.
No distractions or disruptions.
No voices, nor noises.
Nothing to engage me.
I’ve been waiting.
Sometimes patiently, other times impatiently. Angry for her. For her presence, of non-presence.
Freedom from, all of it.
Just me and she.
Stillness, silence, and solitude.
To breathe again on me.
To kiss me tenderly, hushed peace.