For me, I don’t want to live by the “rules” and expectations of a society steeped in greed, materialism, consumerism, and so forth. I want my spirit to lead me. I have to realize what I do for others, VS what I do for myself. And when it comes to a lot of things most people are chasing, this so called “American Dream”; I have found my soul, my essence, what some have called the “real you”, does not long for such things.
I’m a drifter. I free spirit. I am naturally simple and hate the demand and competitive attitude our Nation and culture has pushed upon us. For me, working a 9-5 is slavery, some may call it lazy; but they fail to see the work and effort I put into daily life at home and for my kids. And that is asking enough of me usually. I am not a machine. I am one person, and I am not at all wanting to wear my spirit thin, for the sake of American greed(the things we often pursue) and it’s ideals.
This is all coming about because I have recently been given a possibly job opportunity at a Fortune 500 company here in my home town. Just an entry level position, but one of the better places to work here where I’m from . And it sounds so good. Yet my soul is anxious. My heart is not in it. And when I sit back and consider it, if I were to pursue it, it would be for all the wrong reasons: to impress my peers and the world around me who say “this is it.”
But, it’s not me. It’s not what resonates at my soul level. I can not see myself tied down for more hours of my life, still struggling to stay afloat, while my kids and spiritual life are put on back burners. All for me to honestly, consume more… and to be someone I am not, for a world and it’s goals and ideals I don’t wish to imitate.
I am an original individual and I don’t desire to conform.
And I am not saying this is wrong for everyone to pursue. This American dream and all its luxuries. This is just my nature. Be it from growing up with nothing and being use to it, my mental health issues, or from just not being able to see myself giving my life away to the corporate world.
I know there can be a lot of positive things that come along with working a 9-5 of course: good health insurance, retirement benefits, and so forth. But for me, when I weigh my values and options, knowing what lifts my deeper self and frees me to be me; I can’t help but feel the tug in the direction of a simple, yet sometimes challenging, non-material based life. I want my time, over giving it to another. I want my kids time, rather than giving them to another. I want time to work on my spiritual self, not building the wealth of CO’s and so forth.
That does not mean I will sit back and do nothing. But I will, do what is best for my mind and soul, and thus my kids( they may like the extra money, but my attitude will be ugly if I don’t focus on what gives me life).
Give someone else the money and health benefits, give someone else the 40 hours. I will not be stagnant, but I refuse to strive and break for someone else’s ideas of success and achievement.
I must breathe.
I must be free.
Here is an article below that I read earlier, after searching the Internet for “I don’t want to live the American dream” 🤣