Mental Patient

One moment I’m up, one moment I’m down;

It’s crazy ain’t it?

I’m a mf mental patient.

For my life long, I’ve been singing this sad song; and I’m always complaining of it.

It’s chronic. Somebody save me.

I hate it.

It controls me, it pursues me, until it consumes me.

Eats me alive, one nerve at a time; and it’s hard to lay a finger on a reason or rhyme.

I’m surprised I’m alive.

All the sorrow all this time.

I’ve stood staring out the windows.

Fighting off the hauntings of thoughts that; tell me to off me.

I’d be better off 6 feet and rotting.

Oh the thinking that taunts me; it jeers and mocks me!

All the things it’s cost me; every ounce of energy spent in order to fend off its hostile attempts upon me…

It’s so fucking exhausting.

Of joy and peace, rest and ease; it’s continuously robbed me.

They say change your thinking; but they’re all unwilling to fight right along beside me.

They couldn’t comprehend the pressure to live in this painful whatever;

you simply learn to give up the idea of being understood by those who deem themselves much more able, stable and clever.

It takes one to know one; war, death, disease, pleas of “God please!”;

only those who have had to live the same nightmares are able to console those in the midst of such horrors and sorrows I’m beginning to see.

Let go of me! Let me be!