Tonight: Pains the Same

I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this shit;

The pains a bitch, and everything triggers it.

A lifetime of sorrow, tell me how long could you handle it?

The hurt is deep; and it’s extremely intense.

I’ve sought help, reached out, the best I could; and I’m over it.

They said my insurance ain’t shit, so good therapy ain’t handling it.

A bitch is better of dead.

The system wants a bitch dead.

They say I’m better off dead.

I told the church I’m losing it; and they basically said get over it. Not with words, but with what they didn’t.

Went back to singing and raising their sanctified hands and considered me dead. Her soul is dark and she is off “the right path again.”

Left me for dead.

Dead to them.

They speak about love, but it’s all in their heads.

I’ve fought and I’ve prayed. Oh God have I prayed.

I’ve cried and I’ve tried..

But this shit is complex.

I’m an emotional wreck, and I’m sick of this.

I’m so sick of it.

I’m holding on by a thread.

But sometimes I feel, I’d be better of dead.

What will take away this ache, that makes me think;

That a bitch is better off dead?