My primary resources to God, have been books and other such things: podcasts, sermons, others experiences..you name it. And as much as I’ve mentioned this before, I believe some things are worth repeating.
For years now I’ve felt compelled to put it all down, and seek God differently. It’s funny because you would think we would know the difference between seeking God in the spirit and in the flesh; but as I’ve been learning and exploring..maybe we don’t?
We’ve been so entrenched with learning the way we do: with the rational mind. With facts and figures. Comprehension. Critical thinking. Analyzing. I often wonder how many of us have been told these methods of learning and specifically knowing/seeking God are fairly new and modern? Especially in our Western cultures. We have been born into this; so like fish in water, do we even know there is anything other than?
So, I’ve been picking up the books again. Trying to find God and figure Him and Jesus out, with the mind. With my own ways..through the flesh.
And as I went to pick up a book the other day about the Historical Jesus and His Jewish context in attempts to “know Him more”; I felt Him (this voice or impression within, that I’ve come to know as God throughout the years) tell me to stop. And as usual He asks a simple, yet deeply profound question.
Now the words aren’t exact, because it’s more of an impression. Something the spirit within knows or gets. It can be likened to those that have had near death experiences, or even when Paul describes “someone he knew”(likely himself some assume) going into the third heavens or something of such, and it being hard to describe. But, the question He presented to me was on the basis of knowing Him within. Thus, words can’t always suffice.
So, as best as I can explain, I felt Him asking me to stop reaching for the book; and He simply asked how and where, do I know for certain that I “know” Him?
And immediately, I instinctively went to that place within. Where I’ve “known” Him, met Him, felt Him, sat with Him and communed with Him.
Where words won’t do. Where explanations lack. Where human comprehension, in a sense, really doesn’t matter. And I felt like the lesson for me here, was to stop worrying about all the certainties when it comes to knowing Him, reaching Him, and understanding Him and such. And I got the idea that all these things are good, but not always helpful or neccessary. They are human constructs.
We are essentially spirits, made from God’s image, being Spirit. And we all have this place where we can most certainly meet Him and get to know Him. Where we can experience Him. Sometimes all this other stuff, the other ways we’ve expected ourselves and sadly others to “know” God; can be a big distractions. Maybe even hindrances or burdens? A load we’ve placed, that is too much to bear. And we wonder why we still can feel so lost and afraid; and how many professing believers are essentially still untransformed within?
By untransformed I mean, still the same. Still full of dead bones. We have been good at mimicking kindness, goodness, love and compassion; but is it real? Not that it will ever seem or be perfect, it wavers in life; but is there change happening within? Or are we still forcing most of it? Speaking of it and simply acting/performing it? Not intentionally even. But, could we be just mimicking the spirits fruit without even knowing it?
Have we known God in spirit? Have we gone within and sat with Him? Heard Him? Gone deeper inside, where He says He actually reisedes? For He did say, we are the new temples of His Spirit, is this so? And it should be exciting news!
Do we take the time to be with God there? To be still and listen? To learn and become acquainted with His voice and presence?
Or have we quite possibly depended on the human mind far too much? Have we given our minds more credit and time, than they were created for, at least n spiritual terms?
As we move farther along into the study and research of Near Death Experiences and learn more about our consciences, we appear to be discovering that the mind is not the thing producing our conscience, but the mind is rather meant to be a tool instead. A mere part of the physical and material world. Thus, part of our flesh and carnailty, more than our spirit man.
And looking back, most of our seeking has primarily been through the mind. This earthly thing.
Another thought that was impressed upon me at the same time, was the idea of how others also know God. Coming from an extremely legalistic and then fundamentalist background, I would have assumed this all as blasphemous before. Anyone actually knowing God within, without the “right” doctrines and ideas, creeds, and assumptions was unthinkable. But, all it really is, is our own human assumptions.
God seemed to be asking me, “how do I know that I know Him?” And where and how? And it was most certainly within. From my experiences within, of Him. And they are and have been, always realer than any head knowledge or anything I’ve gained mentally. There has never been much assurance in my mind if I really sit back and think of it. And almost every book I’ve read or hoped to find God in, has come up futile. I have never quite gained, what I was looking for in and through it all. Maybe some ideas, hopes, and vague assurances…but nothing real. Nothing that stopped the searching.
Finding Him in my youth was a blessing. For I was able to experience Him, and become somewhat accustomed to His voice and internal presence; before all the man made ideas and the insisting upon certainty and head knowledge came into play. If anything, the head knowledge really hurt my concept and relationship with God more than it helped. I don’t think all of it is inherently bad or completely nonsense; we just perhaps give ourselves to it way more than we were meant to. That is, in comparison to meeting and knowing Him within, where He dwells and resides.
Again, like the mind was meant to be simply a tool, and not all and all; these tools we overly turn to and use to know God..have become our all. Maybe even gods? I don’t know.
But yes, I felt as if God was also asking me, how can I be so certain others don’t know God..within, in their own ways and experiences, just as I do?
If He is indeed spirit, as we are; He most definitely must work, speak, meet us, and act on that level primarily. Way more far within and deeper, than we have allowed Him to in our own lives and others.