Private and Public

I recently had made my blog private because I have felt unworthy of my own opinions. (But said fuck it)

Disclaimer* I am not a preacher or teacher or perfect servant of Jesus or God. Nor do I claim to be. I am just being honest when I’m blogging whether it’s right or wrong; they are my thoughts. Take it or leave it. *

I have been struggling with this humanity.

This complexity.

My own hypocrisy,

Sometimes hidden so perfectly.

My own thoughts, that are immoral,

Controversial.

But seem, oh so fucking natural.

Who am I to give advice?

I fail to keep my own vision clear and my heart right.

I hate the wrestle.

At times I feel like it would be better to give in to every whim and say fuck it.

To fall into pleasure again.

To not give 2-cents about who don’t like it, and not give a shit about who’s offended.

But then it always hurts eventually.

Sin sickness.

But I find it so alive in me at times, selfish intentions.

Resentments and this conflict..

With myself, the world, God, and mans visions.

I for sure am a critic.

Of myself formost, but I see it within me..wanting to also inspect and perfect all those around me..

Even though I too have this devil inside me..hiding.

Shadow work?

Who’s to say anymore, there’s too many answers.

I don’t have one right now, so don’t hear me out..

Don’t take me too serious.

I too am a victim of my own shit and all that the world has handed me; and I too am trying to be aware of it and  swim out of it.

The struggle is real, I know that much of it.

I fight with myself more than anyone; and everyone else is just to blame for it.

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