For this New Year, I am going to try my darndest, to radically embrace the belief that Jesus IS who God is: in love, word, and deed. That He indeed came to correct our faulty notions of what Isreal and the rest of the world have imagined Him to be.
I will also push myself to embrace Him. To accept Him for Who He showed us He is. Again in Jesus. Not what I have thought, not what others have told and taught me, not what the writers of the OT have expressed..but Jesus.
I have been told not to worry or have self pitty..that that was sin. But, Jesus shows me it’s OK to have normal emotions and fears..but He can comfort me..He can show me a better way..come to Him with those heavy burdens. He expects them to come at times..but just do something better with them..come to Him. Let Him bear them.
I have been taught I must rid myself of every negative thought, sin, desire to….and it has been an impossible and discouraging way to live. Yet, I hear Jesus calling me to a New way of seeing Him:
Trust..trust that He understands, trust He is here to show me why “sin” hurts..and not point at my flaws and unwholesome desires to produce shame. But, in shedding light on..a better way. For healing sake. For wholeness sake.
He indeed is the Loving Father I have always longed for. He indeed is the greatest friend I can always be confident in…”no greater love is this..that a man lay down His life for His friends.”
He is a safe place. The safest place at that. A strong tower I can run to! I fortress from the wind..any wind. No matter how painful, shameful, dirty….He welcomes me.
He is humble and meek. He does not overpower. He tells me that He is patient. That He knows change and trust take time..and He shows me so…more than anyone ever has or will..or could.
Deceit has not necessarily lied in the fear of sin…but in the fear of Him. In the fear of not being enough. Of Him not approving of me. Of us.
The lies have not been about right and wrong living..but in seeing Him as He is…Love.
The enemy has robbed us of this. Trust again. See Him. Jesus is..love.
The Undoing of Me 